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Tuesday, March 04, 2008
saya orang yang cukup lemes.
presentasi, lemes
kerja kelompok, lemes.
disuruh pidato, lemes.
disuruh belajar, lemes.
dihukum gara-gara telat, lemes.
dipanggil orang tua gara-gara hampir tiap hari telat, lemes.
lupa bawa tugas, lemes.
digangguin ama hantu di kamar mandi sekolah, lemes.
digangguin bencong di lampu merah, lemes.
engga lulus spmb, lemes.
engga lulus ielts berkali-kali, lemes.
buka si-net waktu result keluar, lemes.
dipukulin pake stik golf dan disangka mabok, lemes.
dinasehatin, lemes.
mobil ditabrak dari belakang tetapi orang yang nabrak malah minta ganti, lemes.
diputusin, lemes.
mutusin, lemes.
diajak berkomitmen, lemes.
di-remehkan orang-orang, lemes.
diomongin behind my back, lemes.
di-cap pengecut, lemes.
ngerasa orang bertindak engga adil, lemes.
ada banyak tugas, lemes.
rumah kebakaran, lemes.
di-cap lemah, lemes.
bangun pagi, lemes.
ketahuan pake hp buat tukeran jawaban pas ebtanas, lemes.
dilupain sahabat, lemes.
dituduh berbuat salah ama sahabat, lemes.
dikatain pengangguran, lemes.
ada sahabat yang teriak2 f**k ke saya, lemes.
ada sahabat yang mau bunuh diri, lemes.
kakak yang teriak nge***t dan an***g ke saya, lemes.
ada sahabat yang MT, lemes.
ada sahabat yang takut bersahabat, lemes.
dibilang harus move on, lemes.
mantan pake bahasa gue-elo, lemes.
ada yang nanyain tentang masa depan, lemes.
dibilang anak ga tau diri dan durhaka, lemes.
ditinggalin sahabat, lemes.
disuruh makan, lemes.
ngeliat orang-orang kelaparan, lemes.
ngeliat orang-orang buang sampah sembarangan, lemes.
dikhianatin sahabat, lemes.
dibohongin sahabat, lemes.
sekolah s2, lemes.
disuruh olah raga, lemes.
disuruh nyuci mobil, lemes.
ngerasa kena sindroma anak tengah, lemes.
ngerasa digangguin makluk halus, lemes.
ngerasa penderitaan orang lain, lemes.
ada yang lupa ngucapin ultah, lemes.
ngerasa left behind, lemes.
pulang dari bandung ke jakarta, lemes.
ngomongin soal hidup dan prinsip-prinsipnya, lemes.
kuliah pagi, lemes.
diajak ngobrol ama strangers, lemes.
dan lain-lain, dan lain-lain.
Posted at 01:00 am by drakulahijau
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Sunday, February 03, 2008
I've been trying to write this letter for a while now, the kind you said you'd never received. The kind I've been working on my whole life. I remember being 13 years old, sitting in my room all night, listening to the same song over and over. I thought that if I could write something beautiful, something honest, I could make someone loves me. I've taken a lot for granted. I've never tried too hard; always avoided responsibility. I came here because I was running away, 'cause I wanted to be alone. Instead I met you and you weren't taking anything for granted. I hope you get all the moments you deserve. I hope you go back to NY and sit in the met in the room with the painting of the Hudson river, and I hope when you do, you take Lucy with you cause I know she'd love it. I'm sorry if I've made your life complicated. I'm sorry for a lot of things, but most of all that I never got the chance to tell you that, no matter what happens next, I'll never be anything but grateful for every moment I spent with you. And even though I keep fumbling for the right words, all I really wanted to say was thank you.*courtesy of In the Land of Women
Posted at 04:32 am by drakulahijau
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Monday, January 28, 2008
I never find I don't love you anymore in my state of mind.
sanggupkah jiwa ini terus lara walaupun kotak itu telah tercuri?
akankah hutang selalu ter-adiksi terhadap bayaran sang pendusta?
sayap-sayap berbisik tentang keluhan mereka yang merasa tidak tampak putih (lagi) karena tersakiti oleh amnesia asa
tembok baja-pun hanya sanggup tersenyum getir memandang bayangan kesempurnaan
diujung jalan terhias jeruji tajam pembunuh rasa
lalu, rela-kah aku?
Posted at 04:24 am by drakulahijau
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Monday, December 31, 2007
saya sedih. mungkin juga kecewa.
ada apa?
yah memang saya selalu sedih dan kecewa setiap ada perubahan.
saya tahu betul tentang itu. lalu?
aahh tapi kali ini sungguh signifikan. saya benci dengan diri saya sendiri yang dengan angkuhnya selalu mengutuk paham awam-isme.
saya tidak pernah suka perubahan dan tidak mau berubah, apalagi hanya karena keadaan. kecuali perubahan itu bersifat alami, itu hal yang berbeda.
ooh coba saya tebak? lagu lama?
seperti itulah. dia sungguh berbeda, seperti mempunyai identitas yang berbeda. bahkan, bahasa yang dahulu selalu ia banggakan bersama sahabatnya tidak pernah sedikitpun keluar dari bibirnya.
menurut saya perubahan itu bagian ter-simple dari survival kit yang dilakukan oleh manusia untuk terus bertahan.
iya saya tahu itu. saya hanya terus bertanya mengapa perubahan itu selalu ada masanya?
mungkin juga begitu, tapi yang saya tahu perubahan itu akan selalu terjadi.
lalu apakah pertemanan juga ada masanya seperti musim? dan berubah sesuai keadaan dan lingkungan? kalau memang begitu, saya jadi takut untuk berteman.
wah payah juga..
iya memang sungguh payah.
*Expectation Quotient
Posted at 05:49 am by drakulahijau
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Saturday, December 01, 2007
"udah sana lo cari pacar aja, jangan jomblo terus'"
"males ah, gue capek attach-detach, capek pedekate, belum lagi capek nangisnya.. emang dikira nangis engga capek apa?"
"iya juga sih.. tp mau gimana lagi dong?"
"dari pada lo, yang ngaku2 tahun depan mau nikah tp masih tetep sayang ama pacar orang lain.. payah deh.. hehehe.. kasian juga ya pacar lo?"
"hehehe.."
As months and years accumulate, I miss you more and more
Forgetting where I put the key, I sometimes find a door and other times feel stunned and lost, though living in my own body and life, presumably, bewildered and alone as the knight, kidnapped and released to a dim world, who said and I awoke and me here on the cold hill side.
*The cold hill side, Rachel Hadas.
Posted at 05:12 am by drakulahijau
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Thursday, November 08, 2007
Posted at 04:22 am by drakulahijau
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Thursday, October 04, 2007
I really need a dialysis. seriously.
Who is the man I see
Where I'm supposed to be?
I lost my heart, I buried it too deep
Under the iron sea
Oh, crystal ball, crystal ball
Save us all, tell me life is beautiful
Mirror, mirror on the wall
Lines ever more unclear
Not sure I'm even here
The more I look the more I think that I'm
Starting to disappear
Oh, crystal ball, crystal ball
Save us all, tell me life is beautiful
Mirror, mirror on the wall
Oh, crystal ball, hear my song
I'm fading out, everything I know is wrong
So put me where I belong
I don't know where I am
And I don't really care
I look myself in the eye
There's no-one there
I fall upon the earth
I call upon the air
But all I get is the same old vacant stare
Oh, crystal ball, crystal ball
Save us all, tell me life is beautiful
Mirror, mirror on the wall
Oh, crystal ball, hear my song
I'm fading out, everything I know is wrong
So put me where I belong
[Crystal Ball - Keane]
Posted at 01:30 pm by drakulahijau
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Saturday, September 22, 2007
another graceful monologue.
Star/Yvaine:
"You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn't true. I know a lot about love. I've seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate... It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves... You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and... What I'm trying to say, Tristan is... I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no fits. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine".
*from Stardust
Posted at 06:06 am by drakulahijau
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Friday, August 31, 2007
Aku
hanya sinar yang melintas sekedip
bagai kunang-kunang kecil
dan engkau
sayap-sayap yang meranggas seusai
sekepak kau mengudara
membawa hatiku semua
Kita
ialah kata yang terlambat tercipta
yang semestinya tak terjadi
dan cinta
ialah rasa yang pertama dan terakhir
'tuk meragum kerinduan, kepasrahan dan maafku...
'tuk semua yang terlambat kulakukan
'tuk semua yang tak sanggup ku janjikan
'tuk semua...
Lama ku coba, memandang jejak kaki kita tanpa sesal
menerimamu tanpa aku mengerti
indahnya arti hari ini tanpa harapan 'tuk kembali...
kesemua yang tak sempat ku ungkapkan
kesemua yang tak tepat ku katakan
yang tak usai ku jalani
yang tak ingin ku ingkari...
dan semua...
[Semua yang terlambat - Marcell]
Posted at 11:11 pm by drakulahijau
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Thursday, August 23, 2007
those things which are left behind.
Posted at 09:18 pm by drakulahijau
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